Truth Or Dare with Eragon II
by Bob The Builder Of Stuff
Summary: Get ready for all of your favorite Inheritance charters to enter you world. Includes a crazy game of truth or dare, nuclear weapons, dragons, a visit to China, andand LOTS of laughs!  Warning: Talk to your doctor to see if 'laughing' is right for you.
1. Welcome to Earth

**Truth or dare with Eragon 2, Adventures on Earth **

**Chapter 1**

**This chapter is rated: K**

There was wind and ice. It was all blowing about in the Alaskan tundra. The bare desolate landscape seemed to be nothing but a giant blank piece of paper with tons of snow blowing about it. But there was something here.

About five hundred feet bellow this freezing wasteland was a rather musty old room. It's walls were made of cement, and old grimy computer panels glowed in the dark. Hanging from the ceiling by a rusty wire, a flickering sixty watt light bulb was hung, and the room was illuminated and darkened for what seemed like forever.

But then just when It seemed like the old room would never see movement or _anything_ exciting again, something happened.

There was a great flash of blinding blue light, and two people appeared. The last two _people_ the _people_ wanted to see. These _people_ would cause destruction and suffering beyond imaginable. These _people_ would destroy things. They would burn things. They would tell jokes of the worst kind. And they were of course, Angela and Orik.

"How did we do that?" The dwarf man whispered excitedly, hardly able to hold in his new excitement.

"We just left Alagaesia, by a nuclear worm hole to earth using my magic flue powder." The old witch explained happily.

She fumbled around in the dimly lite room until she found the light bulb. She twisted it into it's socket tightly, and the room was illuminated. In the clear light, It was clear that this small underground room was once he center of something important. Something _large_ and important.

There were three large cement cylinders in the back of the room. They emitted a electrical humming sound, and each one was about ten feet in diameter, and went up through the top of the ceiling up into the earth above them.

"What is _that_?" Orik asked in awe.

"Well those are the cement casing for nuclear rockets!" Angela explained in a happy tone. "Each one holds a giant exploding rocket in it, and they were used to destroy huge things I helped de-!"

"No no!" Orik said in a now panicked tone, "What is _that_? Will it hurt us?"

Angela followed his gaze to none other than the light bulb. Angela sighed and gave a annoyed look at Orik.

"That is a _light bulb_." She said in a bored tone. "It makes light. And it won't hurt you. Now would you like to come over here and see these nuclear weapons?"

"Noooooooo..." Orik mumbled under his breath, "It's soooo... _shiny_... it just lights up the darkness... I want to _touch_ it..."

Orik reached out his dwarf fingers and reached them towards the light. Angela new what was about to happen, but instead of stopping him, she just watched with with an evil grin plastered onto her face..

Orik touched the light bulb and was electrocuted. He buzzed around for a moment, and then fell down to the floor.

"IT HURT ME!" Orik sobbed "THE PRETTY DIAMOND STUNG ME!"

"SHUT UP!" Angela yelled back. "It's not a '_diamond_' Orik, It's a _light bulb_! And you better not go around touching them!"

Orik mumbled about his bad luck while while stumbling around. His beard hairs were all sticking out at awkward angles, and the smell of bunt hair followed him.

"Perhaps you better take a seat Orik." Angela said shoving him onto he ground.

"Now let me explain about where we are..." Angela said while pacing back and forth.

"We are on _earth_. The humans on earth are _not_ used to seeing dwarfs. So I picked a date where it was OK to be an elf, dwarf, or other mythical creature. That date is May 21, 2011. It's OK to be a dwarf today, because the worldwide 'Lord of the Rings' convention is today, and everyone will just think that your some random overenthusiastic movie nerd. All you have to do is act like a human. Did you get that Orik?"

But Orik was not paying attention at all. He was sitting cross legged beneath the light bulb staring up into it with a dreamy expression of pure joy.

"ORIK!" Angela hollered, "Did you hear _anything_ I just said?"

"Um... Yes of course I was..." Orik said in the most confident voice he cold muster. "I just have one question... What is this place?"

"Well..." Angela started again.

"We are in an American Nuclear battle silo five hundred feet below the ground! It was abandoned after the nuclear launch system went automated! In fact, I was the one who taught the humans about nuclear fusion!" I remember when I was talking to this old man named Einstein, he was really smart as far as human witches and and sages go..."

Orik watched as Angela went on about her achievements with mankind and their crazy rockets and bombs and light bulbs.

"Um Angela... I was just wondering, I'm kind of hungry, so I was wondering... Um how do you get out of this little cave thing?"

Angela's look of excitement vanished from her face. She ran to the back of the room behind the concrete pillars.

"NOOOOOOO!" She screamed, "They closed up the door!"

Orik stood up and walked over to where Angela was standing. There was a steel door there, but it had been sloppily covered with cement, with a sign that said '_Do not enter' _on it.

"Well that's a stupid place to put a _do not enter _sign!" Orik exclaimed, "Where already inside!"

"Were going to die in here!" Angela wailed, "Were going to run out of air!"

"Well why don't you just turn on the air conditioning?" Orik asked walking over to a knob on the wall.

"DON'T TOUCH THAT!" Angela screamed, "THAT LAUNCHES THE MISSILES!"

But it was to late. Orik had already turned the knob. A deep humming noise filled the room, and then a loud explosion noise. But then, just when it seemed that all was lost, A cool breeze came through the musty room.

"What happened?"

"I turned on the AC... Duh..." Orik mumbled, "_That _button launches the missiles..."

Angela walked over to where Orik was and saw another identical knob protruding from the wall right next to the AC knob.

"Well that's a really stupid design..." Angela said in a relived voice. "Just make sure you don't mix them up, OK?"

"Whatever..." Orik said, "I'm going to go look at the light bulb."

Angela sighed as Orik waddled back over tot he light bulb and began staring deep into its depths. Angela on the other hand began to rummage around, and soon found an old cup. She filled the cup up with some of her magic flue powder, and began to write a letter.

_Dear Eragon/Arya,_

_Sorry to bother you.  
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_We are trapped underground in Alaska. _

_It would be really great if you could come and save us. _

_Just use The included flue powder to come over to earth using the enclosed directions._

_Please, Please, please, come and save us soon, _

_From: Angela and Orik._

_PS: Can you bring some food? Orik is hungry._

Angela finished her letter, and stuffed it into the cup. She then threw it at the ground, and watched it disappear with the usual flash of white light. When she was done, she went and sat down next to Orik.

_I hope they find us soon... _Angela thought to herself, _Orik is going to drive me crazy..._

**AN: HOORAY! the squeal has arrived! I know I said that I was going to make this 4 months from now, but I couldn't pass the chance. What better day to post a doomsday fan fiction then on May 21, 2011! (The end of the world day)**

**Well, I kinda got bored of writing serious stuff all together. Comedy is my _ZONE. _I know the tittle says 'Adventures on earth' but most of the story will in in fact be taking place in America, and China. Yes that's right I said china. **

**So if you want to see the next chapter I want 10 reviews! come on people it's only 10! I'm going to be very disappointed if i only get 7! If you review enough I will put you in the epilogue. So go ahead and press that button. If you do so **

**you shall recive more words by me. **

**PS: whoever left that Japanese comment on my other story...** **your words made no sense. I even translated your message at Google translate. I don't get it. So this little message is just for you... **

**ご挨拶日本の男は、あなたのご意見はまったく意味が行われた。しかし、あなたは英語を話すことができるか、少なくとも型をそれを知っている。それ以外の場合はどのようにこの話を読んだことがありますか？これは、英語で書かれています。私はあなたに私...**

**Yeah, idk if i did that right, but there you go...**

**'HOLLA!'  
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	2. Flue Powder Smoothies

**Truth or Dare with Eragon 2: Down with Democracy **

**This chapter is rated: T+  
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Eragon lazily yawned as the sun settled over the horizon. A soft breeze came through the screened windows, and the sweet smell of flowers wafted through he air. Eragon was sitting in a rather comfortable reclining chair next to Arya who was relaxing with her eyes closed. They had taking the week off in a rather expensive elven resort club.

_Ahhhhhh... _Eragon thought to himself, _What a wonderful evening... this sunset makes me feel... feel... rather special... it makes me feel like I deserve a another smoothie... yeah..._

Eragon carefully looked away from the sunset and to the waitress walking by the door.

"Hey waitress!" Eragon fearfully whispered, "Could I get another one of those smoothies?"

"Yes Sir!" the waitress squealed as she sped off.

Eragon smiled contently with himself until Arya suddenly slapped him across the cheek.

"I _saw_ that!" She glared at him, "You were _Soooooo_ hitting on that waitress!"

Eragon whimpered in fear As he tried to comfort his stinging skin.

"_I was not_!" He whispered, "I was just getting a smoothie... I'm _so_ sorry!"

Arya glared down at him for a few more seconds before diverting her gaze to the door. Eragon took a deep breath of relief.

The waitress came back into the room a few moments later, and she timidly set the smoothie down on the armrest of Eragon's chair before hurrying back out of the room.

"Thank you!" Eragon called after her.

Arya glared at him again, and started to raise her arm for another slap when a giant blast of light filled the room.

A small cup made of a foam like substance was now sitting on the arm rest of Arya's chair.

"WELL WHY DIDN'T YOU DO THAT IN THE FIRST PLACE!" Arya yelled, "IF YOU COULD JUST MAKE CUPS OF SMOOTHIE APPEAR OUT OF _NOWHERE_ WHY DID YOU HIT ON THAT _WAITRESS_ CHICK!"

"That wasn't me!" Eragon yelled back.

Eragon's eyes widened in shock as he realized his fatal mistake. Arya looked absolutely enraged.

"DID YOU JUST_ YELL_ AT ME!"

Eragon didn't have time to reply as he ran for his life. He swerved around the corner, out of the room, and almost fell out a window as he tried to escape his crazy wife. He ran for several seconds before he collided with something fast and red.

"Eragon!" Murtagh yelled, "Watch where your going! I need to get away from my wife!"

"Really!" Eragon replied panting, "I'm trying to get away from my wife to!"

"WELL THEN LETS RUN! I HEAR THEM COMING!"

Eragon and Murtagh got up and ran in slow motion as Arya fired arrows at them from back down the hall. They dodged the arrows matrix style, and continued down the hall.

"I think were going to make it!" Eragon shouted as arrowed whizzed by.

But then just as they could see the light at the end of the hall, Nasuda stormed into view and blocked the exit. She looked infuriated, and had a nasty looking axe in her hand.

"_COME AND GET SOME YOU COWARDS!_"

Eragon and Murtagh looked at each other with a look of terror as they skidded to a halt. Arya was running after them on one end of the hall, and on the other Nasuda was making a quick advance with her axe held high.

Eragon and Murtagh looked at each other and knew what they had to do. They ran back to the nearest window and dove through it. As they fell down to the forest floor below, they could hear the enraged women screaming for them to come back.

They jumped back onto their feet and ran as far as they could until they disappeared under the cover of the trees.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Arya and Nasuda were panting furiously looking down through he window where Eragon and Murtagh had jumped to safety moments before. They did nothing for a while until they were sure that the men were gone.

"What did_ he_ do to you?" Nasuda asked angrily.

"He _yelled_ at me _and_ was hitting on this waitress!" Arya fumed.

"_NO WAY_!" Nasuda huffed, "_Murtagh_ was hitting on our waiter too!"

Arya stopped fuming and looked at Nasuda in a confused way.

"Did you just say _waiter_? As in_ Male _waiter?"

"Yeah! He said _'Please_!' and '_Thank you_!' Who does he think he is! He was _Soooooo_ hitting on him!" Nasuda replied

Arya looked at her in an appalled way, but then objected.

"I think we _might_ just be over reacting..." She suggested, "I think we should go back to my room and drink up that smoothie that _Eragon_ left behind."

"OK." Nasuda said now cheerily, "I like smoothies!"

So they set off down the hall retrieving Arya's special enchanted slow motion arrows, and glaring at all the waiters and waitresses shuffling around the hall. When they finally arrived back at Arya's room, they sat down in the chairs, and picked up their smoothies.

Arya frowned as she looked at hers. There was something wrong with it. This smoothie was _sparkly_ and _green_...but then again so was everything else in her life. Her dragon, eyes, sword, clothes, and smoothie. All were green. So why not a green smoothie? Green was the story of her life so, she downed the smoothie in one giant gulp.

"_hmmm..._" Arya moaned happily, "That was a _good_ smoothie..."

"Well thats _good_ for you Arya, but someone threw a stupid piece of paper in a cup full of powder! what kind of a smoothie is this!"

"It must be one of those things where you add the water, and you get an instant smoothie... you know, like that Cool-Aid medicine... _and_, it's _green_, so what harm could it be?"

Nasuda frowned as she pulled the piece of paper out of the cup and stuck it in her pocket. Then she added water from a basin in the corner, and mixed up the powder and the water. She was about to drink it, but then she hesitated. She had a bad feeling about this, but she ignored it, and took a long sip of the bubbling, ice cold, green fluid. it tasted good at first, but then her head started hurting.

"OUCH!" Nasuda shouted suddenly, "I got brain freeze! Why don't _you_ ever get brain freeze!"

"Because I'm an elf... duh_..._" Arya replied carelessly, "Let me have a sip of that smoothie."

Arya forcefully took the smoothie from Nasuda, and took a long drink.

"That wasn't much of a _sip_..." Nasuda complained, "Half of it's gone!"

"Whatever..." Arya said, "We can share it."

So the two women talked and sipped and brain froze away the night, completely unaware of the contents of the smoothie that was at that very instant changing them in unimaginable ways.

**_X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X_**

**AN: so how did you like it? I know this chapter was kinda silly, and short, and probably made you hungry for a smoothie, but I still hoped you liked it. Well anyways, It took quite a while to get 10 reviews! In fact, I was getting a little lazy, but then out of nowhere the 10th review showed up, and I started writing several minuets later. For the next chapter, I would like another 10 reviews. Not that much to ask for is it? especialy since I'm busy studing for finals.**

**On another totally random note, I just wanted you all to know that _I don't exist_. I'm actually just a second identity. Even my best friend doesn't know who '_Bob the Builder of stuf_f' is. My family doesn't, my friends don't, and none except 'NKS' (Because he has no idea how to contact my friends, family, or other people). The only person who knows who _'Bob The Builder of Stuff_' Is, is me. I do this for a very simple reason. If people knew who I was, I couldn't write freely. *Cough* *Cough*_ parents..._. If my parents knew that their _innocent_ little _16 year old_ child who _never_ saw a rated R movie, never went to a wild party, and NEVER had alcohol, (ALL lies btw) they would be shocked to find out that he wrote an entire online story, and several sex scenes too. So, my whole point in saying this is that: if one of you do end up finding out my real identity, please keep your mouth shut. Really. Don't do it. It would be a disaster. **

**Oh yeah, Mr. 'NKS' That Japanese guy joke was VERY funny. You had me fooled. Well done young grasshopper. (Try a different language next time...)**


	3. It's to late to Apologize

**Truth or Dare with Eragon 2: Down with Democracy.**

**Chapter 3, It's to late to apologize.  
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**This chapter is rated: T+ for Sexual themes, and references.  
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Eragon and Murtagh were stuck in a cave. The cave was rather musty, dark, and wet, but they were going to have to call it home for the time being. It was their first day camping out in the cave, and so far it was _very_ unpleasant compared to he fine elven resort just a few miles away.

"Eragon!" Murtagh whispered, "Do you think they followed us?"

"I don't think so!" Eragon whispered back shuddering at the idea, "But it's your turn to do wife lookout duty!"

"But I _don't want to_o!"

"Murtagh! IT'S_ YOUR_ TURN! We agreed to change out every hour! _Remember?"_

"Alright..." Murtagh said in a defeated way.

They changed posts, and it was finally Eragons turn to sit down on the damp floor. It was barley a minuet in when Murtagh started to become agitated. First he got an annoyed look on his face. Then two minuets later he started to twitch his leg. Three minuets later he sighed heavily and started to pace around the entrance of the cave. After four minuets he had completely abandoned his post and sat down next to Eragon.

"Get back to your post!" Eragon said in an angry whisper.

"Eragon!" Murtagh said rather loudly, "We can't just waste away in this cave forever! We have to go back to our wives and tell them!"

"Tell them what?"

"Tell them that _they_ aren't treating us right!"

Eragon looked around timidly as if they were there at that moment.

"I'm to scared! you don't know what it's like having Arya for a wife! She seemed nice at first, but now shes all emotional and scary!" Eragon whispered back, "We didn't even get married! She just took control!"

"Yeah..." Murtagh said sullenly, "I liked her better when she was all emotionless too... she was _way_ _hotter._.. but it's not easy being with Nasuda all the time either! Have you ever heard her CD collection? And, she thinks I like men!"

Eragon was unable to hold in his laughter at Murtagh's situation. He continued laughing for a while until Murtagh silenced him with a punch. He looked rather angry for a moment, but then he got his classic _light bulb moment_ face on, and got up.

"Come on Eragon, I have an Idea..." Murtagh said getting up and striding away.

Eragon suppressed some more giggles, and got up and followed him.

_XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX_

Arya and Nasuda were passed out in their reclining chairs. Arya was elegantly laid down with a soft green blanket protecting her from the morning chill, while softly speaking in her sleep about "_green rabbit dragons_" and other things of the sort. Nasuda was laid down haphazardly, with no covering, and with her arms and legs falling off the side of the chair, and looking rather dead.

But, in the dark of the room, something different could be seen. Both women were _glowing_. They were _glowing_ a luminescent _green_ color. The color of the _flue powder_ that they had drank up last night. The same magic powder that they were _supposed_ to use to save Angela and Orik. But then, off in the distance, and sound could be made out.

_Thump_

_Thump!_

_Thump!_

_Thump!_

_CRASH!_

Arya and Nasuda bolted awake as a giant red dragon ripped the roof off their room, and sent sunlight streaming into the dark room. Thorn crashed down onto the ground before them, and two people dismounted from atop his back. Eragon looked very scared and looked as though he might bolt away any second. Murtagh looked confident, but his legs trembled as he stood.

_"You go first!"_ Murtagh said pushing Eragon forward.

"NO!_ You_ go first!" Eragon said shoving Murtagh forward and hiding behind him once more.

"NO! _YOU_ GO FIRST!" Murtagh yelled this time.

"NOOOO! _YOU_ GO FIRS-"

Eragon was cut off as Thorn growled and shoved them both forward with a swipe from his powerful legs. They both stumbled forward until they were just a few feet away from their women. Arya looked at Eragon as though she regretted last nights actions, but there was a fiery look in her eyes that made Eragon just want to disappear. Nasuda still looked rather cross with her arms folded and a stubborn impression on her face that Murtagh was unable to read.

The men and women both just stood their staring each other down for a while until Murtagh summoned up all his courage and spoke at last.

"_Umm..._ Nasuda?" He began timidly, "I want to talk to you about_ yesterday..._"

"What about it?" Nasuda said in a cross way.

"Well... I just kinda wanted to let you know that... that..._ that..._"

_Just go on with it already..._ Thorn said while sticking his snout in a dragon sized popcorn and watching the drama unfold like a play.

"I wanted to say that... You treating me _unfairly!_" Murtagh blurted out quickly.

"I didn't _hear_ you..." Nasuda said in a deadly calm voice, "Now _what did you say_?"

"I_ said_..." Murtagh said through gritted teeth, "That _you_ are treating _me_ unfairly."

Nasuda looked as though she was about to burst out of rage, but then she did something that no one expected.

"I'm sorry Murtagh!" She sobbed now on her knees, "Please forgive me! _PLEASE!"_

Murtagh quickly wiped the shocked expression on his face away and replaced it with a questioning look as though he was deciding something. Then, just when it looked like he was going to say no, another unexpected thing happened.

"I forgive you!" MUrtagh said now also falling to his knees, "I'm never going to leave you again!"

Now they were both hugging, and soon it evolved into an all out _make out_ session.

_WOO HOO! _Thron said, _Go get a room! I wish this happened every day! It's like going to an expensive play, but it's for free!_

_"_Oh shut up..." Murtagh said happily as he sat down with Nasuda, "Your a dragon, everything is free for you..."

Once Murtagh and Nasuda had sat down, everyone looked expectantly at Eragon and Arya. The random minstrels also showed up again, and set up their medieval instruments in the corner. When they were done, they got ready to play, and looked over at Eragon and Arya expectantly. But still nothing happened, Eragon just stared dumbly at Arya, and she intently avoided his gaze pretending to be interested in the color of the wall.

"Um... anytime your ready Eragon..." Murtagh said anticipation clear in his voice, "I hate to rush you, but the minstrels are paid by the hour, and... _well..._"

Murtagh stopped as the minstrels shot him an evil look. But Eragon did nothing for what seemed like an hour. After a while, the minstrels grew tired of waiting and started playing the jeopardy music that Eragon was allergic to. Eragon visibly winced in pain, and after a few moments of slowly melting decided that it was time to proceed with his declaration of freedom.

"Um well Arya... I think we need to talk...about_..._" Eragon trailed off uncertainly as Arya stared into his eyes with the look that she had perfected over the last week.

"I'm _not_ going to accept your apology Eragon." She said crossly.

Everyone in the room gasped, and the minstrels on Que started playing the song: '_It's to late to apologize'_ By Timberland.

Arya looked at the minstrels with looks of loathing, but they continued playing bravely.

"Arya! Arya! _Please!_" Eragon asked her while gripping her hand. Arya looked guilty for a moment, but she hid it quickly.

"I know I was hitting on that waitress!" He said desperately, "Please forgive me!"

"No Eragon!" Arya said in an upset voice, "It was my fault... I know you weren't hitting on that waitress. I was just being a over paranoid wife."

Everyone gasped dramatically at this newest piece on information.

_"Um..."_ Eragon started awkwardly, "Then I'm taking back what I said before... you know, the whole begging for forgiveness thing... You understand right?"

"Arya looked at him in a peculiar way, but then just shook her head.

"You want to just go find a room? I'm sure I can make it up to you _better_ in there..."

It took Eragon a few minuets for Arya's sentence to sink in. "You mean you want to..._ go make kids... again?"_

"Um... yeah..._ Why else_ would I invite you over to a bedroom?" Arya said while giving Eragon a stupid grin.

Eragon didn't even reply. He picked her up like a suitcase, and carried her out of the room in a blur.

"Eragon get back here!" Murtagh said angrily.

Nothing happened for a few minuets, but surely two heads peeped out from the side of the door in a way that their bodies were concealed.

"Um what is it Murtagh..." Arya said hastily, "Were kind of busy right now..."

"_You guys_ need to help me pay _these guys_!" He said pointing at the minstrels.

Eragon and Arya sighed, and started whispering to each other. Eragon and Arya both looked around suspiciously, and then slowly sank back out of sight in a very suspicious manner. Murtagh thought nothing of it until her heard some rustling of fabric, and then a few moments later Eragon walked into the room looking rather flustered. He walked over to the minstrels, and asked them how much gold they wanted.

Suddenly Eragon stiffened, and walked back to Murtagh with a very pale face and wide eyes.

Eragon then whispered in Murtagh's ear. "_They want, 100,000 crowns for playing music from another dimension!_"

Murtagh turned pale and looked sheepishly at Nasuda.

"Um _honey_, you wouldn't happen to have any money on you... _would you?"_ He asked sheepishly.

Nasuda calmly reached in her pocket and pulled out a wad of coins while crossing her arms and looking upset.

"Usually the _man_ pays for the date Murtagh..." She said hotly.

Murtagh didn't reply, but watched as Eragon pulled out his and Arya's money bag, and handed it over. He then put in his own money and started to count.

Together, Eragon the shadeslayer, Murtagh the new leader of the dragon riders, Nasuda the leader of the Varden, and Arya the elven heir to the throne, only had a _mere_ _twenty three crowns_. _Twenty three crowns_ was not even enough to buy a new pair of boots, let alone pay the minstrels. But before he could break the news to the others, Arya interrupted the tense silence that had filled the room.

"Eragon hurry up! I'm getting cold!"

"Why is she _cold?_" Murtagh asked suspiciously, "It's rather _warm_ right now..."

Eragon said nothing, and diverted his gaze. Murtagh got the strange feeling that Arya was naked. He reddened at the thought, and gave Eragon a little wink and a thumbs up. Before Eragon could even react, Murtagh was slapped by Nasuda, who was looking furious again. Murtagh scowled, and started to count the money again.

Meanwhile, Eragon walked heard the rustle of clothing again, heard Arya complain about needing help with her bra strap, and Murtagh could not suppress the desire to turn his head. He waited until Nasuda was not looking, and then started making frantic gestures at the minstrels, so they started playing something that sounded a lot like, _Friday_ by _Rebbecca Black_. Nasuda was instantly distracted, so Murtagh crept out of his chair to go get a better look at Arya.

But before Murtagh was even halfway across the room, a clock tower began to ring. Murtagh froze in his place, and counted the bells. When the bells had finished ringing, Murtagh turned pale and started double checking his math on his fingers. But it was still the same. The clock had rung twelve times. That meant that the minstrels had been preforming for three hours. Murtagh fainted as he realized charged twice as much for overtime.

**AN: well, I have now completed the most random and confusing chapter yet. _Did I overdo the italics in this chapter?_ I think I did. Please tell me what you think. Also, I think I might be... _well... sort of loosing my touch_... Idk why, but i just have the feeling that this story isn't as funny as the squeal. Do you guys agree? I want your honest opinion on this, and I will not stop writing this story if you tell me that I am losing my touch. Just PLEASE let me know!**

**Also, just so you know, I may start getting slower update times in about one week. (summer vacation.) I will be traveling all over the place, (Hong kong, Tokyo, and London) this summer, so I don't know when I will have time to update. I will try to keep you informed, but I'm not even sure if there's even internet in London. I thought they still traveled around on horses, wore medical knight costumes, and burned harry potter books because for promoting witchcraft. Just kidding. I know about London... a little... But anyway, a big shout out to my readers out in England!**

**_'YOU WANNA BRING THE HEAT?'_  
><strong>


	4. Chapter 4 Teleportation

**Truth or dare with Eragon Part 2**

**Chapter 4  
><strong>

**This chapter is rated: K+**

Everyone in the room was huddles around Murtagh. He was passed out on the floor, and was mumbling something about _arpeggios_.

"Do you think he's OK?" Nasuada asked stupidly.

"Of course he's OK Nasuada..." Arya replied in a sarcastic tone, "It's just that he passed out. _That's totally normal..._"

"Ohh... I thought that there was like... _you know..._ something wrong with him... like a sickness..."

Arya just sighed, and didn't even bother trying to explain the concept of sarcasm. _It's just over her head..._ she thought in a annoyed way.

_Well_... a_re we just going to leave him here? _Thorn asked.

_"Well, _Master Oromis always thought me that you should never leave an unconscious person on the floor. Someone might step on them." Eragon said.

"Well then where do we put him?" Nasuada asked.

"Somewhere _fun_ ..." Arya said in an evil way, "Just think... this is the chance of a lifetime... We could do _anything_ to Murtagh... And he wouldn't even know!"

_You mean like a prank?_ Saphira said landing next to Thorn, _I know all about pranks..._

"How does a dragon learn about pranks?" Arya asked.

"I have no idea..." Eragon replied, "But trust me, she does know about pranks... One time she dumped a giant bucket of glue on me while I was helping pluck some chickens... I looked like a bird man..."

Everyone laughed at Eragon, and even Murtagh seemed to be laughing in his sleep.

"That's something I would have _loved_ to see..." Arya laughed, "But how does a giant dragon get a giant bucket of glue? It's not like people leave stuff like that just sitting around..."

_You would be surprised what people leave sitting around..._ Thorn said, _When your a dragon, giant buckets of glue is just the beginning. _

_Umm... I think there is something wrong with Murtagh... _Saphira grumbled.

And indeed there was something quite wrong with Murtagh. He wasn't laughing in his sleep, he was choking on something and turning blue.

_"_OMG Murtagh is choking! I got to do give him some CPR!" Nasuada wailed.

"You don't give a choking person CPR! you give them the Heimlich maneuver!_" _Arya said in a voice filled with panic.

_what is an OMG, CPR, or a Heimlich maneuver? _Thorn asked.

_Must be another one of those weird two legged things... _Saphira replied. _Lets just watch and see what happens. _

Nasuada was backed up behind Murtagh giving him sharp abdominal thrusts with her arms locked around his waist.

_"_That's not how you do it!" Arya said, "Let me do it!"

"YOU KEEP YOUR SEDUCTIVE ELF HANDS TO YOURSELF!" Nasuada screamed, "HE'S MY MAN!"

"WHAT DID YOU CALL ME!" Arya screamed back, "I'M JUST TRYING TO HELP!"

Nasuada dropped Murtagh and began to engage in a slap with with Arya.

_Oh boy a cat fight! _Thorn said preening with excitement, _I love cat fights!_

_But what about Murtagh? Aren't you worried about your rider? _Saphira inquired.

_No, he's just chocking on his tongue. He does that a lot after he passes out. It usually stops after a while._

_Your rider chokes on his tongue? What if it doesn't stop this time?_

_IDK, I just go with the flow._

_Whats an IDK? _

_One of those two legged things. Now stop asking questions, I want to see the cat fight!_

_Oh a cat fight I want to see! _Eridor said crashing through the roof.

_I would beat you up over Saphira right now, if it weren't for this entertainment you know. _Thorn growled at him.

_Save it for later Thorn, I think we all know who Saphira prefers. _Eridor growled back.

_Calm down boys... _Saphira said _You two have really got to stop fighting over me..._

Eridor and Thorn both backed off reluctantly, and sat down to watch the fight.

Arya and Nasuada both had faces that were red from slapping each other. Arya slapped with precision and speed while Nasuada slapped anything that moved.

Eragon slowly approached them, with intentions to break up the fight.

_"_OK ladies, lets all-"

Eragon was blown backwards onto Murtagh by a flurry of slaps from Nasuada and Arya.

_Yay! The fight goes on! _Thorn chuckled in his deep booming voice.

Meanwhile, Murtagh had stopped choking on his tongue, and was beginning to regain consciousness.

"Uhhh..." He moaned, "Whats going on? Why do I feel like someone punched me in the gut a couple times?"

"Oh nothing... Eragon said, "It's just that Arya and Nasuada are in another slap fight..."

"We better break this up before it gets to serious... " Murtagh agreed, "How about this? We sneak up behind them, grab them, and then pull them away from each other until they calm down."

"Well, I guess it might work, but it will be dangerous. You know how these women are when there fighting over us."

"Well, I guess well just have to try, or die trying. Are you with me Eragon?"

Eragon pondered it for a moment, and then agreed with a dramatic nod of his head and the words,

"Lets do this!"

And together the two brothers in arms made the victory charge that would change the fate of the entire world. They ran in slow motion side by side, hair flying in the nonexistent breeze, covered in dramatic grime and bloodstains as explosions blew up behind them. Dramatic music played through the explosions, and they kept going until they met there targets. Eragon grabbed Arya and pulled her away as Murtagh did the same to Nasuada.

But then, the most unexpected thing happened. Everything suddenly turned a deep blue, and then room filled with purple water. A wormhole opened up bellow them, and began to suck them all down like a bug being sucked down a toilet. Eragon, Arya, Mutagh, Nasuada, Saphira, Thorn, and Eridor had all got sucked down one by one, until they were all gone. Then the wormhole collapsed, and disappeared from sight.

The room stayed silent for a while until a pretty blonde elf in a maid outfit came in.

The room was blasted blue, purple water was dripping off of everything, there were dramatic explosion craters blasted into the floor, and the room was a mess in every possible way.

The maid just sighed and began to mop up the puddles of teleportation water.

_Why do I always end up with the crazies? _She wondered.

**AN: Sorry I haven't updated in a while! My parents lost their jobs, _(that's why they were traveling all over the place, trying to find jobs in the foreign stock exchanges)_ and it's been really crazy for me. Also, turns out taking college level classes in 10th grade isn't a good idea! (well no way...) But anyway, I got some announcements. When the fourth book comes out I will be overhauling all of my stories. That basically means that I'm going to take all the stories where I called Arya's green dragon Eridor _(If Arya has a green dragon)_ and change it to what it's name is in book four. That way, people an enjoy my inheritancy cycle comedy even after book four! _(and make sense of it)_**

**So as you can tell, that will take a LONG time considering that I will have to read book four first, and then convert 4 stories to the new information. So anyway, I will try to keep all four of three of my active stories running, but honestly, I have very little time now. I got a girlfriend, took WAY to many AP classes (I took two AP classes and all honors everything else), and jointed 2 new clubs at school. So as you can see I'm very busy, and I have very little time to work on these stories. But at least I'm still continuing them right!**

**Also, very big shout out to _PRINCESS ARYA!_ who is of course my new beta, Who edited this chapter.**

** Also, if you like romantic comedy kind of stuff, and the Percy Jackson Series, I released a new one shot story over there too! So go over to my profile and read it! **

**But anyway, thanks for being patient with me, and please review!**


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